Critique This!

13 Sep

There are critics for everything, especially when it comes to entertainment and even more so if you’re one of many people who live their life vicariously through fictional characters. The science fiction television and movie fan are perhaps the most detail conscious critic known. If you do something that messes with what they think an accurate portrayal of their favorite TV & or Movie series should look like, you will hear from them

Have you seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier? Absolute rubbishSimon Pegg is a big fan of Star Trek.  I can tell after starring in two of the latest movies, he’s even more into it than ever. Criticize the Into Darkness movie and you have almost killed his child or at least took away its gummy bears.

OK, now the Interweb has permitted criticism to go too far…  They dare to disparage a J.J. Abrams film which includes Simon Pegg? A film that has brought sci-fi fans a near collective orgasm?? Have they seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier? Absolute rubbish!

Into Darkness voted worst Star Trek film by trekkies (Really? Have they seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier?)

The critics loved ‘Into Darkness’ and it’s the most successful film in the entire series at the box office, so what in the name of Jupiter & Mars are these people thinking? Who do they think they are? Have they no shame?

Simon Pegg doesn’t think these people are getting their full 8 hours of rest at night and eating their broccoli. (well that’s what he meant to say)

Here are some of the criticisms

1. Because The Klingons Have Never Looked Worse
2. Because Qo’NoS is Just an Irradiated Wasteland
3. Because There Is Absolutely No Reason Why Carol Marcus Should Be in the Film Or Why Alice Eve’s Character Should Even Be Carol Marcus
4. Because Uhura’s a Less Progressive Character in 2013 Than She Was in 1966 (OK, Nichelle Nichols was great and she looked awesome but isn’t this being petty?)
5. Because Actually All the Characters Are Reduced to SNL-Parody Versions of the Themselves
6. Because Abrams Felt He Needed a Star Wars-style Canyon chase
7. Because, Um, Why Would a Starfleet Admiral Want to Utilize the Skills of a 300-Year-Old Cryosleeper?
8. Because the Story of an Evil Admiral Betraying the Federation’s Values While Pursuing Its Security Has Been Told So Much Better Before (You really think so? Naw, I can’t agree with that assessment.)
9. Because the Special Effects Are as Ugly as Gagh (I agree that Ronald D. Moore brought special effects to a higher level for television but that doesn’t disparage the work of Jeffrey Jacob Abrams. Why did he shorten his first and middle name to initials? That’s what I want to know, don’t you? If these criticisms continue we’ll make you sit through 5 consecutive showings of Forever Young)
10. Because It Just Becomes a Silly “Greatest Hits” Album of a Movie (Oh now you’ve done it, you make the whole thing seem like a series of movie trailers strung together.) (That’s the whole point of sci-fi movie creation today, isn’t it? First you have a death-defying chase scene, then a few explosions, a fist fight or two, followed on with a few space things being hurled about, add some lasers fired between spaceships, lots more explosive sounds to shake your butt, loud music and you got a movie.)Cumberbatch & Montalbán
11. Because San Francisco Is Destroyed and No One Seems To Care (I can understand that.. I really don’t find that difficult at all.)
12. Because There Is a Fake Khan and There Is a Real Khan (Cumberbatch learned to enunciate a villains voice by listening to old Richard Burton movies and squint like Clint Eastwood. So, what’s the problem?)

Sometimes criticism just needs to be kept to ones self.

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Posted by on 13/09/2013 in Box Office, Entertainment, Hollywood, Movies, Popular Culture, Science Fiction, Space travel, Stories, Writing


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